"How the heck am I supposed to "redefine" myself? I'm on the track for MINISTRY, how could redefining myself make any sense at this point? I don't feel excited like I have been before, maybe I've grown and need to search for different ways to connect with God? I'm just gonna keep my eyes open and pray that the Spirit will come, but I won't be super dissapointed if it's not as great as years past."
-What a fool I was last week, thinking that God would cease to amaze me even after I had asked him into my heart! I was willing to be changed and tweaked, but my soul did not fully expect it.
So many times did God say, "hey Carly, THIS way" during the week there's no way I could explain them all here, much less on a single blogging. I spoke on Monday about looking for God out of the norm. and in those wierd and unusual places that we don't expect God to be...to Redefine God. I definitely lived that this week in ways I couldn't imagine.
One night Pastor Linda spoke about redefining oursleves. We had a lot of time to sit and think about who we are. We had to define ourselves. That's when I realized that I didn't know who the heck I was! I could've writen down "I'm a youth who wants to go into ministry and that lives for mission trip. I've messed up a lot but I want to serve the Lord." It was true but I didn't feel it fit. That may sound dumb, but that's not who I wanted to be.
I wanted to be changed. Who I was before was who I needed to be at that time, but God knew I needed to be renewed. I could not continue to grow with weeds in my way. This week God broke me down; a tired soul and a burned out girl, and began to build it up even more beautifully.
So who am I? I am God's. It's that simple, I am God's. And because of this I now get to choose who I am, I get to redefine.
God's love is not a circle with 360 degrees. It's not someone making a 180 and turning their life around. God's love is not a shape that we can see, it stretches far beyond that. God can redefine your life wherever you are, and to say that he can't-well that's just whack.
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